Goodbye Tiny Midget. Hello Me.

Sorry that I haven't kept LLTM updated for a couple of months. Perhaps because it was becoming more of a chore then a place to pen down my thoughts. For that reason, I'm moving somewhere else. To take on a more mature turn.

To my readers, whom I've failed, thanks for bothering to read my stuff. I wish you guys a fair journey ahead.

I bid you farewell Tiny Midget. You have served me well.

Also...

Here are some videos for your entertainment. Found by yours truely, The Catkromancerz.



Then Watch



Then...



Lastly!



Oh and to Daphne. SICK TURTLE PENISES WTFUCK.

AND THE IPOD HUMAN!

SLOTH! OH NOEZ

First of all,

Say hello to my new friend. Sloth. Hes quite charismatic really. Keeps enthralling me and sooo I keep forgetting to blog. Cute isn't he. :D

Okay now to get serious! Before Vincent the PUREST Heterosexual, left for Indonesia, we went to watch Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull!

Dominic, JT, Vincent and myself, set off for Plaza Singapura to catch Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Crystal Skull. I was smart enough to get the GV Member Card. Which is free by the way. Two very nice benefits from it.

- Tickets on Tuesdays, cost only $6.50 for everyone that goes with you.

- Secondly, you get a dollar off all combo sets ordered.

The member card is free and the process to get one is simple. Just go sign up at

http://www.gv.com.sg/

Okay the movie now... Was ridiculous for someone like me. Who was watching an Indiana Movie for the first time. I mean why not? Its popular for a reason right? The movie takes place in 1957.

Theres this super magnetic alien body / skull thing that can attract metals from ridiculous distances. Oddly enough, guns belonging to soldiers didn't get pulled away. Secondly, there was a chick there. Why didn't metal from her bra strap fly off?! ( Mind you, its 1957, no advanced or stick on bras back then. )

Then, there was a part where the aliens ran off. Okay... Indiana asks some queer fag. Where'd they go. The fags answer?

They went to the space between spaces. WTFUCK? OKAY. THAT COULD BE ANYWHERE. My first thought was... indecent. And sooo, I'm thinking. WARNING : HIGHLIGHT BELOW AT YOUR OWN RISK. YOU WILL NOT SUE ME FOR THIS IF YOU DO HIGHLIGHT IT KTHX.

I remembered that vaginas were voids. Voids being spaces. Thus, the aliens went to the space between two vaginas aka the spaces. Hehehe, perferted aliens. Now we all know how alien babies come about.

Movie reviews say that there were alot of inside jokes for Indiana fans and the action was decent. Since Its my first time, I wouldn't know shit bout the inside jokes. Secondly, I agree the actions okay but... THE LOGIC IS BROKEN. NO ONE CAN SURVIVE NUCLEAR BLASTS BY HIDING IN FRIDGES. NEITHER ARE ANTS THAT BIG.

Okay, after that Vincent set off for Indonesia. As did Melvito. =( Then, JT and Nick set off for Cambodia. Leaving me and Dominic with alot of free time. Bore fest honestly. However during this period, I got quite alot of crap done. LIKE A NEW LAPTOP HEHEHEHE. VISTA IS PRETTY. Dom's such a pessimist about it Q_Q. I'm bored honestly, Need something to do. Other then gaming really.

I had thoughts of writing a story but, don't quite know what to write about. Sooo, perhaps if someone gave me a theme to write on, I'll come up with something. BTW, Thank Daphne for forcing me to read that silly AAL blog. Ah Lians are a stain to Singapore, yes. But they are, what differenciates us, brighter and less stupid people from the others. So, lets not blog about stupid people because without them, we'd stop looking brilliant. :D

Besides, I can't stand epic bitch fests. Oh yes anyways, after reading that blog, I decided to update as to prevent Daphne from burning her eyes from reading such things. I also loveeee those posters on her blogs. REALLY MOTIVATES ME. SO GIVE ME A THEME TO WRITE ON PLEASE?

PS: I HAVE A WEBCAM NOW. HEHEHE...

Three outings and not one blog post?! Omg.

Rofl, hai. ITS UPDATE TIME! Okay so basically three things to write about. Don't effing blame me if I can't remember lawl.

Lets seeeeeee. Went out on 12th may and watched What Happens in Vegas with Nick, JT, Vincent the PURE HETEROSEXUAL, Jeremykittycat and Melvito.

We dotaed in the morning then went out later. After having arranged to meet with JT, I quickly changed knowing HOW I TAKE FOREVER TO DRESS UP. Which isn't really a guy thing is it? Metro sexual possibly. Speaking about Metro sexuality. I think the word sexuality is in such things to represent the sexiness from such things.

" How sexual. Mrowr!" - The Catkromancerz.

So, I head over to JT's place. Cool and fresh. THE MOMENT I STEP OUT OF THE LOBBY. I BURNEDDDDDD. Damn you weather. DAMN YOU! THE BLISTERING HEAT SEARING MY SKIN AJRGHGHGHG. I trudged on under the scorching sun and eventually reached JT's place. [ Normally, I'm the super...wait uhhh, FASHIONABLY late one. ] Then he makes me wait fourty minutes... Outside his front door.

By the time we reached the bus stop, Melvito and Jeremy were already at Plaza Singapura. What the heck. Since when were TYPICAL teenage guys punctual what more, early. Normally the first and second guy that reaches there are considered punctual... Lolol teenage logic.

So we went to watch What happens in Vegas. Ashton and Cameron pretty interesting if put together.



Pretty damn good movie. The plots pretty obvious though, the humor is great. From my perspective at least. Definitely a show worth the 7.50 or 10 bucks if you're watching on a weekend.

Nick kept saying it was a chick flick. Stuff you watch with your BF/GF or Girlfriends. Like zomg. Its a nice movie k rofl. GV GIVES U FREE IRON MAN TOYS FOR BUYING POPCORN COMBOS. I ripped Iron Man apart with ma clawz. Speaking about popcorn, I basically free loaded off JT and Vincent's popcorn. THANKS.

" Vegas? VEGAS?! Long story, beautiful ending. Heh. - Catkromancerz on Vegas.

Went out for a movie on Saturday with Melvix, Milken, JT and Vincent, we watched Iron Man. Once again, I stole more popcorn rofl. ALL YOUR POPCORN R BELONG TO DA CATKROMANCERZ




Pretty damn good movie. Be sure to catch it this season before its out of the cinemas. A must watch really. After that, we went out for LaN Gaming. We played Counter Strike and kicked Vincent's ass in Starcraft Brood War. Melvix went off after that though. Then we bugged JT to come over to my place for basketball rofl. On the way we stopped at Vincent's place to get the basketball. I swear the path there twists so much. And ITS DAMN SCARY. We got blackmail material on someone there. Whooowahahhahahahahha.

Sunday.
Gaming... More Gaming. Can't remember rofl.

Monday!
Went out for dinner with Vincent, JT, Nick. Then we headed over to my place for basketball and Milken tagged along. Basically four matches were held and the last one was EPIC.

Me and JT against Nick, Vincent and Milken. We held dominance over the ball till it was 10:6 then, the three, started using the gay triangle formation. And they even the odds. It was 10:10. Nick was going all about beautiful comebacks and Vincent was like " hur hur! Next time we tell this story to your grand children uhhhh. Then they cry hur hur." Then he shoots a three pointer. THE BALL FUCKING SPUN AROUND THE RIM. IT ALMOST WENT IN THEN, Dropped out. I dart towards the ball grab it and pass it over to JT. He darts pass the guys and scores. We WON! Zomg! After that we dotaed till 3 am.

" It was like... a beautiful petunia blossoming! " - The Catkromancerz on their win.

Okay, this post is longggggggg overdue rofl. Soz. So okay last saturday, the weekend before the exams, we had uh a study group that ended up playing basketball. Heh.

So, I'm dotaing and Vincent the Pure Heterosexual - Vincent asked for a name change. Wtf? - calls me and asks us to study together at my place's library. He comes, Milken comes and JT comes along. After about what felt like 45 minutes of studying for me, we left. Milken went to get his friends, Jordan - my ex school mate - and two other guys whom I have forgotten.

So, while Milken and Vincent went to get their friends, JT and I went to my place and ensued in a Halo Match. Basically I thrash him for two rounds without vehicles and the last round, is tweaked in his favour and I get thrashed. He takes a scorpion tank. I take a Rocket Launcher. By the time I start homing in, I get shredded by shrapnel. FUN YA? Anyhoos I managed to kill him twice.

So after that, we went down for basketball at my place. Since we had seven people, I decided to sit out to even the game.

Then, now the exciting part begins! We went for dinner. As usual, I ate the slowest. I like to play with ma food. Then this little kitty cat comes behind my chair. IT WAS OBVIOUZ HE COULDN'T RESIST THE CALL OF THE CATKROMANCERZ.



"Look at that beautiful fur. So soft. So cute. It's stripped legs. BOW TO ME KITTY!" - Thy Catkromancerz On kitty


"I'm sure all of us can tell this cat is very shy. Look, its avoiding the camera." - Thy Catkromancerz


Vincent the Pure Hetrosexual to my left; Jun.T to my right. Milken to the middle right and Jordan to the furthest left.

CHINESE EXAM REHGHGHGHGHGH. Damn. Scary stuff. Dominic and I, shared the same idea and brought a jacket to school to serve as a pillow. Rofl.

Paper 1 - Compo - Letter writing.
I forgot t3h format GG. Being a geniusssss, I wrote down NI HAO MA which is bound to get me one mark! Hur hur.

Paper 1 - Compo - some stupid question thing.
Being unable to read the facking question, I just copy it down. And that is it. I'm done with Paper 1 in ten minutes. LEET OR LEET?

My cat senses are tingling. The wrath of the chinese teacher shall descend upon thou.
Mrowr!

ZOMGWTF OLD LADEH!

Rofl, sorry. I was supposed to do this post like yesterday but, I didn't because Vincent has yet to send me the pictures of shit that happened on Saturday Night. :D

Woke up. Went to church. Fucked up thing was that, I CAME JUST IN TIME FOR THE EFFING MID YEAR ASSESSMENT FOR CATH CLASS. Of all days I had to come. Basically, it was like a chinese paper except I knew what bullshit I was writing. Rofl I hope I pass. Anyways, for service attachment, I was posted to the Wardens.

ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME NOW? I'D RATHER TEACH AND SMILE AT PEOPLE AND SERVE THEM.

I was telling Sarah that as a warden, I might kill someone with those pole with bags at the end that they use for collecting our money. ( The church doesn't bloody need the donations. They're filthy rich. Honestly. And they still talk about Poverty. Infact, they're so rich, most of us can only dream of having such sums of money in the future. ) Back to where I was. Yes, I might put that thing over someones head and jab him with it. Muwhahahah! Warden of Death. Yes. Nice ring to it.

Now, to begin the real story. Yes. It is a tale of horror, fright and possibly, sadistic humor!

So, I went to eat Aston's express at Bedok. My mum, being a grocery-shoppaholic, decided to leave me, a small little boy alone at the food court. There I was, alone, at the table looking at my measly Crispy Fried Fish.


Food reviews will be done in Orange! Wheee. Okay, the fish tasted great compared to alot of other fish and chips out there. It's very soft and is easy to cut apart ( Unlike those bloody tough fishes that I try so hard to rip apart only to find out it's batter like wtf. SCAMMED ME BEECH. ) Alot of herbs inside. However, after awhile, this tastes abit overpowering. I think its because of the huge portion. Theres a ton of value for money if you are really hungry though.

I paid $5.90 for a large portion of Fish, Tasty Rice ( They really mean tasty ) and Onion Rings ( Very well done as well.) I dare say, far more worth it then any meal at your local fast food restaurant. Give it a try if you happen to past by. However, stop eating if you can't take anymore. Don't force yourself to eat. Thats just stupid. Rofl.

So... this old lady comes up to me and talks to me in... Mandarin. WTF. My reflex action- which I practice alot with teachers. - I start nodding my head like one of those hula dolls. She sits down. WHAT THE HELLLLLLLL. SINCE WHEN DID I AGREE. Zomg. She starts to speak quicker. I panic and in desperation I message my friends on what to do.

The first reply from Miah -
Tell her, Ni Hen Mei, Wo Yao Gen Ni Zuo Ai. Try that. Haha.

I see you find old women pretty and don't mind screwing them... A fetish we didn't know about?

Then, he says lololol, maybe shes Michael Jackson. Later she moonwalk.

Now from Shenzer -

Say " Bu Yao Qi Fu Wo"

WTF DOES THAT MEANNN? - Bert

I have no idea Picked it up from a TV Programme.

WTF. - Bert

Is she Crazy?

Dunno - Bert

Why is she sitting beside you? Try poking her or throw something at her.

Because theres no space! Wtf? - Bert

Give her the stare.

Its rude omg. - Bert

No no, not that stare. The one where you suspiciously stare where you look at her closely and circle around her.

Lololol SMLJ? Since when was there such a stare?

I'm scared. - Bert

Just be calm. Prepare a fork when she strikes. You'll never know when and how she will strike.

Do you know how she'll strike? - Bert

No I don't but I think she'll bite me while I'm eating.

Oh yea, I know I'm juicy.

From my Senior, Rabid Squirrel

Pretend you don't know how to speak chinese and walk away if you haven't ordered or have food on the table and who are you with?

I'm alone and I've ordered. - Bert

Haha, wtf are you doing there then?

Eating... - Bert

Haha, you're sad.

HAHA YOU'RE OH SO HELPFUL!

Last but not least, the god of Nickism.

I beat this UK Guy 1v1 Hes level 18. Lol.

Nice, I'm being owned by an old lady at language skills. - Bert

Lol, cute.

What do I do?!? - Bert

Rape her.

NO COMMENT HERE. And people say I'm twisted.






These were the remains of the old lady's food. Such a beast she was. - Catkromancerz

I ate and departed quickly and went to NTUC. ZOMG NTUC SUCKS NOW K. ONE REASON. THEY LIE.


Such deceitful bastards. To think I love them. Addiction is a pity. - Catkromancer on Coke Zero

COKE ZERO DOES NOT TASTE ANYTHING LIKE COKE. NOT AT ALL. Infact, its just coke light with a new label. Really thats all it is.

DID YOU KNOW ARTIFICIAL SUGAR PROMOTES CANCER? THUS COKE ORIGINAL IS HEALTHIER THEN COKE ZERO / LIGHT.

Then, I saw the most disgusting, most filthy, terrible sight. One that had disheartened me.


" You bastards " - Catkromancerz on the new Coke Shelf.

WHERE DID ALL THE ORIGINAL COKE GO? YOU BASTARDS! Sick sick people.

Well thats about it for Sunday. I'll blog about saturday probably tomorrow when I get t3h picturz from Vincent, Gay Man Extraordinaire.

Toodles!

Zomg sorreh

Okai! I'm back after like eleven days. Then again, I didn't go anywhere. :D Rofl okay anyways, first I'd like to begin this with good news!

I HAVE FOUND A WAY PAST THE EMOTICON BLOCK ON MSN! HOORAY. NOW I CAN GIVE YOU PEOPLE :D ON MSN.

Isn't that fabulous news. Make love now! Quickly!

The past week has been nice to me. Spent sometime with my clique. Managed to get Warcraft III installed on Jun.T's PC. HE IS T3H FAIL AT PCZOR! Lololololol. Games were pretty screwed up. Basically it was Me, Nick, Jun.T, Melvix and Jeremy. Melvix went into QQ fest.

Anyways, Its official. I have requested to return back to NA. I hope things go well! :D

I R QQ NOW. My leet planning skills for the BBQ to be on the 23rd of May has been screwed. The Indonesians are going back. This was the conversation with Vincent. [ Hur Hur, Vincent has quite alot of hitters. lololol. His Indonesian girl friends are going to get jealousss.] And on a more serious note, his Indonesian girlfriends are non existent! )

Vincent: Eh Albert, can make the party earlier? Like 15th may like that?
Me : Har? Why?
Vincent : We ( Indonesians ) are going back.
Me : But! Its just like 8 more days! Can't you wait? Its the beginning of our holidays.
Vincent : Don't want lah. Later I see the exam marks then no mood liao.
Me : WTFBBQ!?!?!@!312321 But its Jun.T's Bday and Clan's creation!

That about ends it.
J00( you ) CHOOSE MARKS OVER YOUR CLIQUEEEEE. BASTARDD. RAWR!

I however, will not post-pone the party. LOL QQ MUCH. When better to put a BBQ at the very start of the holidays?

Thy Catkromancer must tend to people now! Toodles. I'll probably edit this later when I get some pictures from Miah. Kbai!

Friday Night

Like any normal kid, I went to school on friday. I came, I saw, I survived it. Okay anyways, after that I went over to Jun.T's place with the objective of fixing in virus wrecked PC. Lolol. I found 30 different viruses and 1131 infected files. The funniest thing? It was his sisters laptop. Even I don't have that many viruses. Anyways here are two free anti viruses which I think are pretty damn effective.

www.malwareguard.com

and

www.safer-networking.org/en/index.html

BTW HIS DOG IS CRAZY. My cat claws made her run absolute fear though. Begone bitch!

Also, I managed to catch a movie with my ex tutor. Jia Zhen. A very nice and hardworking girl. [ Shes not spoilt like me. Life styles are incredibly different.] I say, her boyfriend is quite smart to get her. Congrats to him. And me bugging her ages ago to get a boy friend. Muwahahha the Catkromancerz triumphs.

We watched Definitely, Maybe. Some show about this guy who has a daughter that bugs him about who her mum is. After some persistent bugging, he gives in and tells her the story. That begins the show. The girls are all very much different. So yea its pretty interesting. Give it a watch.

So, anyways, I'm back. Now where was I? Her boyfriend, Philip (I HOPE I SPELT THAT RIGHT ) sent me back home in his car which smells very much like sandalwood. Dove Calming Night uses Sandalwood. It is the sex. Utterly.


[Good stuff honestly, I'd substitute it for catnip. ]

Personally, I'm glad because I'm actually doing something with my life. Also, we ate at Phin's pretty expensive place sigh.

The Day After, Saturday.

Went out for dinner with me buddies. Michael, Vincent, Milken and I. A foursome. How delightful. Well anyways heres how we selected the place. Actually how Vincent, selected the place.

Milken: Eh, where you wanna eat?
Vincent: Dunno.
Milken: Albert coming leh.
Vincent: Oh! Albert. Aiyoh he like to eat high class food. We go eat Cafe Cartel okay?

WHAT NONSENSE! EAT HIGHCLASS FOOD?!? ME?! Pshhhh. Whos been asking us to eat Mee Pok ( Some cheap noodle thing ) at hawker centers. Then, who made us eat at KFC zomgggg so expensive. Sigh. A twenty dollar meal isn't cheap.

Anyways, I ordered a Fish and Chip meal for $16.70 [Inclusive of drink and soup] It was decent at best. I've tasted better Fish and Chip at this foodcourt stall in Bedok. Its the little foodcourt behind the library. $3.80 during happy hours. Good stuff really. Very fresh fish.

We talked alot of crap. Lolol. Things you wouldn't want to know about. Anyways! Here a picture of my friend Michael and I.


As Vincent, Gay Man Extraordinaire has said "Albert look like dying man sia!" Personally, I think I look drugged. TRUTH IS, MICHAEL WAS STEALING ALL MY HAPPY! LOOK AT HIS HAPPY SMILE! THAT BASTARD! Lol Kidding. I just look weird often. WANT TO BUY MORE GLAMOUROUS SHOTS.

So total in all, we spent 80 dollars, on 4 dishes and a tic-tac-toe ( Fries, Wedges and some thing for $5.60) After which, we left for MacDonalds for their desert which is also, ridiculously cheap. Lololol.

We went to 7-11 after that. While queuing up, I felt something sharp crawling up my neck. I clawed at it again. IT WAS A FKING UGLY BROWN CATERPILLAR WTFUCK?! And on a more serious note, thank goodness it wasn't one of those hairy ones or i'd be itching all over. The caterpillar received very little mercy from my shoe's sole. [ BAD SHOE SOLE SQUISH INSECT! BASTARDDDDDD! ] :D for me anyways.

Thats all for today folks. Toodlessss.

OH HEM GEE! A VIDEO OF A MUSIC CATDIGY!

So me, being a very busy person, checked out youtube for no particular reason and, I found these two videos! One on a cat thats extremely leet. So leet she plays the piano. Probably better then I myself. The other being one about a hamster. They're both fairly short so take a short moment to watch them. Oh, I also just found another one. Its a fairly entertaining catfight.

  Nora definately outwits Betsy's student in terms of skill! Nora clearly stole the show. Who would have known there was a cat so leet. In the words of the Catkromancer.

"Shes puuuuurrrr-fect. I'm going to fire my personal musician and hire her. Truely she is fit to serve me." - Catkromancerz

Wow, fat, furry and cute. Not to mention quite greedy.

"I R ONLY FEEDING HIM SO I CAN EATS HIM LATER! MROWR!" - Catkromancerz on the Hamster.

Mrowr! Catfight.

"These two cats were merely fighting for their king's entertainment. Such loyal subjects. DEATH TO COGNAC FOR LOSING. WHAT A FAILURE." - Catkromancerz on the Fight.

Catkromancerz = Phantom Assassin?!?!

So, I found out something interesting today... My friends were trying to match DotA characters to people they knew in real life. Funny enough, I was matched to the Phantom Assassin.

Sexy, cunning and deadly. I say, like a cat! - Catkromancerz on the Phantom Assassin
[ Okay, I'll admit, I'm as sexy and seductive as that. Don't deny it. ]

The Phantom Assassin or Warden, has these abilities!

Hide
Lie in wait for enemies without attacking. (Will respond to attacks). Units will hold position and hold their fire, so when they are Shadowmelding, they will not break their own invisibility. It's very handy for running away from a battle. The Hide ability is disabled during the day.

I am Catlike so yea, I do hide pretty well. Muwahahhahaha.

Fan of Knives
The Warden flings a flurry of knives at multiple enemy targets around her.

Hmmm, this would probably be me bitching to the people around me. My words are like knives sometimes. So yea they cut you emotionally! Muwahhahahahahhaha. [ On a more serious note, I've cut down on bitching quite alot! I'm suchhh a nice person. ]

Blink or Blink Strike
Short distance teleportation that allows the Warden to move in and out of combat. Where as with Blink Strike, I teleport to the enemy and hit him for additional damage.

So, this would basically be me jumping or moving faster then expected to a point and hitting someone. Which I do pretty often. Okay so I'm a violent person. But I don't hit many people just a few friends. Kekekeke.

Shadow Strike or Stifling Dagger
Hurls a poisoned dagger which deals large initial damage, and then deals damage over time. The poisoned unit has its movement rate slowed for a short duration.

Okay, this would be a really hurtful thing I have said to someone. When people are cut emotionally they think about it, contemplate, and cry more aka QQ. Since their disfocused they're slowed down! [ I DON'T BITCH THAT MUCH!!! ]

Vengeance (Ultimate)
Creates a powerful avatar that summons invulnerable spirits from friendly corpses to attack your enemies. When the Avatar of Vengeance dies, the spirits vanish.

Well, this would probably be the grudges that a Scorpio like me can hold which ranges from a short while to forever. We backstab you and people follow. Victor knows fairly well.

Blur
The Phantom Assassin blends into her surroundings thus making her harder to see and harder to hit.

This would be when I'm acting " emo" or going all on about my leave me alone vibes. Which gives me a low profile thus harder to notice. Harder to hit because you probably wouldn't want to hit someone who wants to be alone.

Coup de grâce

The Phantom Assassin has refined her hero-killing skills to a high degree.

Basically, I just hit really really hard at times. This would be my favourite out of all the skills. Works well against the occasional asshole, Razor aka Jun.T.[ I don't hit him that often now!]
One of my most memorable times of using this skill was when I was chasing Ai Yang and lets just say struck his back so loudly that a thunderclap erupted!

So, anyways, they linked this character to me because
1. I squeal like a girl sometimes.
2. I speak good english like her.
3. I'm very flexible / agile.
4. I "don't" have leg hair.
5. That if I were to wear a green cape, bicycle helmet and hold a frying pan, I'd look like her. WOW! Oh and I'd probably need to put some sillicon down there and spray paint myself purple. Oh oh, and grow really long hair and ears!
6. I'm uber sexy just like her.

Okay, I admit I do squeal like a girl sometimes.
I speak good english.
I am very flexible and probably quite agile.
I do have leg hair cept its not long, curly and everywhere.
I have no comment on point number five.
Last but not least, I do agree that I am uber sexy. Like her.

That person looks too hawt to be you.
From Reila.

My response
Hur hur, sounds like a jealous girl! And by the way a BMI of 17 is underweight. Mind you, I have that BMI as well. Your not alone. :D
PS. JEALOUSY IS A BAD THING GIRL - Catkromancerz

Mind you, I'm trying very hard to get my BMI to 20+. Like the Catkromancerz says.

" Its one less flaw and one step closer to perfect. " - Catkromancerz

Anyways, thanks to Jeremy, Right Paw, Second Claw of the Catkromancerz for all the info!
:D for you!

Lololol.

RAWR THE KITTY IS HUNGREH

Apparently, alot of people don't know what leet means. Its gamer slang for awesome, great, fabulous, glamourous and other great awesome, fabulous, glamourous words! That is why the word leet is leet truely. The Leet King forgives you for not knowing what leet means! Go now and spread the word! Anyways heres a poem from the Catkromancerz for you people.

A poem, by the Catkromancerz - WHILE STARVING AWAY.

i R KITTEH KAT,

i R HUNGREH,

i R COOK NOODLES,

i R COOK NOODLES WITH MANY MANY,

BEEF BALLS!

Anyways I was talking with my friends in church earlier. If you named your son Jia Qiu aka Add balls. His friends wouldn't be able to call him a ball-less faggot. Its like leet.

Anyways heres another odd fact, Both Hitler and Alexander the Great [ He may be great for conquering most of the world but hes great to me for being a bisexual. WIN. ] both had one testicle. Like omgwtfbbqchocolatecakeswithcatnip!

DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE CATKROMANCERZ IS COOKING? Over and Out, Bert.

Italics are Addictive.

Well helloooo. Today has been a fairly decent day. I updated my friendster with new photos. Mostly from events in 2007 and Chinese New Year from this year. Also, managed to go buy groceries with my mum as well as return the library comics I borrowed.

Conversation with Mum at the Library.

Mum: I think, I'll borrow these two magazines. [ Real Simple ]

Me: Um, alright.

We proceed to the funny borrowing machine station thingy where I stare at my mum waiting for her to take out her identification card.

Mum: Ehhh, use your card leh. I think mine has fines.

I need not say more. Rofl. So anyways I went to NTUC, and couldn't find my Myojo Char Mee.

HOW CAN YOU DITCH ME? I R EAT MANY OF YOU IF I FINDS YOU. RAWR! - Catkromancerz. ( On a more serious note, I'm allergic to most seafoods. Sigh.)

After purchasing my new headphones, I've been using them instead of my speakers. I seem to hear things I shouldn't be hearing. Like... like... Dialogue in Michael Jackson Songs! Now you might be wondering why is Albert listening to Michael Jackson. 

My reply:

HES LEET STFU I LIKE HIS MUSIC K. GO AWAY YOU MICHAEL JACKSON HATERZ!

I spent some time DotAing with Jeremy (aka Miah, Remy, Jeremies), Melvix aka Melvito, Nicholas, soon to be creator of Nickism, Shaggism, and Nicholasism. Don't ask really. The games were decent at best. We basically went around smashing things and dying after that. So besides us four, there was TSAO. Games get pretty damn intense and exciting with him around. Heh. No joke there. [ Why hasn't Tsao even added me on MSN! ]

Tsao is Win. - Albert, The Catkromancerz

And questions from reader!

You condition your hair?! And, your posting is screwed! - Reila

My reply:

Well duh! Hair as soft as mine doesn't magically come to me. Then again, spending three minutes conditioning hair isn't very hard. SO MAYBE ITS MAGIC. I DUNNO. By the way, my posting isn't screwed! Its just misunderstood and then was screwed by your mind. 

No :D for you! I gives you the foul, evil, malicious, deceitful, sinister, corrupt, putrid.

THE EVIL TWIN OF :D

Presenting...

D: <--- ZOMG GASH. THE EVIL TWIN!

Anyways, I've been thinking about what Vincent commented about the pic I posted on friendster. Okay like why the fuck does blogspot put the uploaded photo at the top thats just retarded seriously... [ I know I suck at blogging. So will someone tell me how to fix this? Copying and repasting isn't exactly fun to do.]

http://www.friendster.com/photos/28360978/1/547515689 Link to the picture.

Anyways, he said,

"I know this guy...!" - Vincent Santoso, Gay Man Extraordinaire.

The question comes to mind. Vincent knows this guy. 

DOES THAT MEAN THAT THEY CLONED HIM?

THEN, HOW MANY DID THEY CLONE?

WHY VINCENT?

And,

HOW MANY VINCENTS CAN THE WORLD HANDLE!?!?! 

Anyways, I'm off for now. Toodles to you people. RAWR. And I kept my promise I think.

Posting and Me.

Lawl! Okay. Feel free to skip the bottom half the the previous post. Its bloody bloody long! Though maybe possibly, interesting. Just take it as a long post for the previous 5 months of not blogging at all okay? Kek! Anyways I just learnt that I could change the colours of the text. Thats like uber.

Anyways, I'll try to keep future posts short, sweet and humourous. No promises there however.

 

Bert, :D 

I'VE BEEN REALLLLLLLY BUSY.

  I've been very tied up with things! Things like, playing Warcraft, chatting and the beautiful art of Procrastination.  Really. I mean like, WHO GETS TIED UP WITH THESE THINGS. Simply said, Me. :D ( Thy face is made from 100% WIN ) Pity you don't see me using that much. Tsk tsk. Even worse, you can't use that face on MSN. LIKE WTFACK. ITS A BLOODY EMOTICON? LIKE GHEY.

Oh well, so you don't get to see my use the FACE OF SUPREME AWESOMENESS while chatting. Soooo, heres a whole line for you people who might still be reading my blog which I promised to update 5 months ago and did not.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

FEELING AWESOME NOW? HELL YEA!

Some of you might be thinking, WOW, DAMN RIGHT. Well good for you. And some might be going J00 R FULL OF SHIT. Well, what can I say besides :D

So anyways, here I am back to blogging. After a very very long disappearance. I SWEAR THE GNOMES CAPTURED ME AND TRIED TO MAKE ME THEIR KING. ITS THAT PINK LIL GNOME'S FRIENDS. Well, you probably want to know more.

So grab a cup of Coke. Yes it has to be Coke. Nu huh. Don't even try to object. Coke is godly. The Brownish Sparkle that is Coke. The everlasting sweetness much like CANDY.

Coke is Teh "Sex" ( In drink form )

Its obvious that Coke is Teh "Sex" because Polar Bears are endangered because their all drinking Coke. Who needs to copulate when they have like 500 ML of "Sex" Also, I'm kidding copulation is a necessary thing. Its also probably quite enjoyable. Like I would know.

     [ THIS IS EVIDENCE THAT POLAR BEARS DRINK COKE! ]

Okay, enough about Coke. I suppose you have a cup full with you now. Let the story begin!

Viewer Discretion Advised. This was written with the writer in fatigue and also slight irritation because his friends FKING LEFT HIM FOR SLEEP. WTFUCK? SLEEP OVER TWO YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP?  BITCHESSSSS. Well, except Melvix who is leet but obviously inferior to my supreme leetness. I'm so leet he felt the urge to be gay with me. The effects of exposure to a greater leetness.

- CHANGE IN SEXUALITY.

- DENIAL

- WTFUCK? And other things!

  It was a special day. A once in a year day. November the Ninth, also, Albert's Birthday aka 9/11/SOMEYEAROKAY. He was turning fourteen! Not much of a milestone but at least, a reason to celebrate. As the events of the day unfolded and came to a close, Bert [ Whos really damn Leet ] returned back to the comforts of his home where he blogged [ ITS THE PREVIOUS POST MIND YOU ] about the events of the day. He typed down the things that came into his mind, filled with utter nonsense, perversity and probably bits of insanity and in time, he was done writing about his birthday. [ PHEW REALLY, THAT TOOK FOREVER. I HAD A WRITERS BLOCK. ] He went to view his blog post.

  As the page loaded, Bert stared in awe at the spectacle occurring infront of his very eyes! The plated pink midget was crawling out of his Uber Sexy LCD screen. The midget's armored body was most odd! Albert was offended by the creatures imperfection yet its pink hair and beard left his speechless. Truely this creature was without a doubt, MANLY. [CHUCK NORRIS IS OBVIOUSLY MUCH MANLIER AND UBER] Albert was in utter awe. If only he could have his hairs dyed a beautiful pink just like the gnome. 

The gnome jumped out of the screen. His little HAPPY FEET landing on Albert's keyboard with some impact, his keyboard just broke. The humanoid spoke. Bert was also pissed because his keyboard broke. 

"Come, come with me to a place where you get to study faster! So fast, you'll skip a whole year of studying!" spoke the creature. It had a deep little boy voice. How deceitfully manly yet somewhat childish. Albert was seduced by the creature and its offer. In his moment of weakness, he accepted. He went to express. Little did he know of the pain and regret to come in it's wake.

Express had other humans much like himself. They were however, much much more book wormish [ THAT HAD BETTER BE A WORD] And also, I kid. They're just alot more studious) as compared to Albert and his Friends whom he had left behind. Week after week, he was tormented. The workload was immense. At first they came slowly, and were dealt with swiftly but eventually, they overwhelmed Albert. His discipline broke. He gave in. Now in a grave filled with paper which continually grows along with its tasks. Worst of all, he missed his dearest companions whom he used to see on a daily basis besides that, the pain of seeing them escape the place of his torment earlier then him brought him to his knees. Occasionally, he'd get to chat with one of his dearest companions one such being Ai Yang, the last of the Story Weavers from the previous year. The chats would get fairly intense and interesting. Albert left many times with a smile upon his face, wrecked with misery.

[ Seriously, EXPRESS IS LIKE THE FAST WAY TO MISERY. You know, its funny how doctors and my parents tell me its the normal. WTFuck. It isn't the normal. Express is already one of the fastest ways to the O Levels in the world. The workload is tremendous, you won't have much free time and would probably spend the free time, revising. Utter bullocksssss. What teenage memories will you have besides hugging books and perhaps mugging with classmates. Truth be told, Express is the "Normal" ONLY BECAUSE, Singapore made Express and that some kids are going there. Because of that, some parents get envious la la etc. gossip spreads. People stress their kids into express and now you have it as the "Normal"

Think about how this affects the egos of those within the Normal Academic Stream ( WHICH IS THE NORMAL BECAUSE IT PROGRESSES AT THE SAME RATE AS THE WORLD) being branded as inferior because they couldn't get into Express. They'd be demoralised. I myself, have been subject to this. Honestly, I couldn't give a shit because at least, I'd have joyful, and fond memories of how I spent my teenage years. 

I will not live in Regret. Unfortunately, I am now.]

He sought to meet them again, he made contact and thus, Saturdays, the sixth day on Earth, were days where they'd escape from the evils and meet up, chill and do STUFF. 

Today, was one such day. Albert spent his early afternoon searching for new headphones for his PSP. A extremely handy device for entertainment and communication as well as information gathering. ( MY PSP LCD BROKE AND IT COST $122 TO FIX IT. LIKE CRY MORE PLEASE? THATS BLOODY FLUFFING EXPENSIVE. ) He spent the rest of the day hugging the PC beside his friends, fighting to save the World Tree or the Frozen Throne aka Playing DotA in which he went to strangle his closest friend, Jun Ting for "Backdooring" which is more or less cheating and thus, his knight fell to the might of my strangle and cunningness. Muwahhahah.

Bert also bought $37 dollar earphones and he feels scammed. Though, he feels that they are incredibly sexy. So nevermind.

Bert and his compadres grew hungry as time passed by. They boarded a bus and set off for food that would satisfy their hunger. They came upon a fast food restaurant. KFC. Bert being broke after spending three quarters of his cash on earphones, whined and asked to eat cheaper food. His pleas fell upon deaf ears. Then, a fair maiden came upon him like a savior. [ SHE HAD KFC COUPONS. She was truely, LEET. SHE EVEN SAID I COULD KEEP THEM LATER WEETS. ] There was one requirement to the coupons however, ONE WAS TO HAVE A BUDDY TO SHARE THE MEAL WITH! Being quick witted, Michael grabbed Albert as his partner. Vincent with Nicholas. Milken pranced off and went solo leaving Jun Ting, BUDDYLESS. <- OWNED!

They ate like vikings. Most importantly, they ate their fill. They talked and laughed so hard, Michael ended up regurgitating his fries. Bert threw a fly at Jun.T for some reason. Which he calls " Fry Slap " Being a cunning dog, Jun.T put flame to the arrow sent at him. He dipped the fry in cheese and tossed it back at Albert landing in his hair. Much laughter was had.  [ Truth be told, I still wanted to order large popcorn chicken with a regular coke after that but like fuck, I don't want to be a glutton much like Victor, Bane of DotA Team mates all around. AND ALSO, WTFUCK SIF THROW CHEESE FRY INTO MY HAIR. MY GLORIOUS CONDITIONED HAIR. ] Bert swore to plan his revenge.

After that they left and went to go watch Liverpool VS Arsenal. Honestly, whats so exciting about soccer matches. The only parts where I was hyped up was like at the last few minutes where the ball was right at the goal's door. MILKEN HAS A BLOODY LEET VIEW OF THE SEA. WTH. IMBA. If I do ever go to his place at night, I'll be sure to take a picture.

And that was it. As for the pink gnome, well... Heres what happened. Even though he was incredibly manly, my supreme leetness overpowered him. His armors betrayed him and melted off him. And now, hes the poster boy for my blog header. Cool huh?

Well, its late, and I'm sleepy sooooo toodles world. And I need to fix that fucked up chatbox. STUPID THING.

Peace Out

T3H CATCROMANCERZ, Leet King, Albert aka Alberto

So Its Been... 17 days.

Just like my title says, its been seventeen days since I've blogged. Haha, been very lazy recently, kept putting it off. Most of the time I left it at the posting page and didn't leave a word. Anyways if your wondering bout the new font, I think its classy and classy is sexy. And sexy is part of the " Get Sexy Campaign " Haha sorta.

Well as far as my memory goes back. I recall going LaN gaming with Vincent and Victor at Gamers a couple of days after I last blogged. Victor kept crying about how his Spirit Breaker couldn't hurt my Dragon Knight because of my super high armor. Lol. Met Vincents brother, who looks extremely youthful. Hes very quiet however. And his friend, Dewa whos name I can't really remember. I played alot with the MmM crew recently. Its been pretty fun playing with them. Pretty stressful as well.

Anyways, JT, Vincent and his friends came over to play Basketball a couple of times. Bleh, I'm horrible at that game. Vincent and Victors left for Indonesia its been pretty boring without Vincent and Victor owes me Ajisen Ramen because I got double digits for my Chinese! Lol. Wonder how their doing now. Hopefully, Victor loses weight. And I mean plenty of it.

The Additional Maths Bridging course has been a bitch. Quite literally. Stuffing us with knowledge on things like Quadratic Equations, Pythogras Theorem and alot of other shit. My math is only adequate so I'm not as quick as others. And hell I don't know how I'm going to survive once I head into the tougher enviroment. The Express Stream. Bleh. Its like a pressurized chamber. Actually it is. Unless your a genius. People say Singapore's education system is very stressful due to tests, homework and the never ending waves of exams. Justs keeps pouring down. Personally, I don't quite know what to say about it. I've been having quite alot of fun with my friends in school. Their probably the ONLY reason I go to school.

On one of the school days, Jun Ting invited me, thesurfer, *Victor and David over to play pool which we did. We were playing midgame when *Sebastian pops into the room. Obviously, hes booked the room so we had no choice but to leave. Lol. He pops in with another guy. And only that other guy. I can't say I don't have my Suspicions. So after that, having nothing to do in Jun Ting's place, we decided to head over to my place for soccer. I just played goalie because I'm too lazy to run about. Lol. Nick met his long lost mug root beer bottle in my place's mini mart.

I also held a barbecue recently, it was meant to celebrate the end of the exams. But only 6 out of the 20 came. But it was great honestly. I now think small gatherings are by far, better then big ones as the more people, the more they group up. So you'll have like 4 groups of people walking about. And doing their own things. Surprisingly, we managed to finish almost all of the food. Probably because Nick cooks them so damn good... Fuhhhh.... Danial is bloody funny seriously. Haha.

Been playing alot of The Black Road on Warcraft III recently as well. Got myself a level 130 Warlock. Its been pretty good so far just need to farm some items. Bleh. Farming is dreadfully boring. Anyways, my bro and kertie aka *Nick have been asking me to play Hellgate London. I'm abit dissappointed with it but I guess I will play with them since theres barely anything else to do.

And lastly, its my Birthday today. Haha. Surprisingly, a ton of friends wished me Happy Birthday and one of them needed to be reminded. Haha. To all the peeps that wished me Happy Birthday, Thanks alot! Love ya'll guys. Well, thats about it for today. I'm gonna head out later at night for a Overnight LaN session with my friends. Toodles till next time. And I promise I'll update you guys within the week.


* There are two Nicks. Kertie is Nicholas Law and Surfer is Nicholas Cheng or least I think it is.
* Is before Victor left for Indonesia.
* My primary school buddy!

6 Dolphin '05 Reunion

Aight, Aisyah and I have finally decided upon the date, time and place for the 6 Dolphin Reunion which is.

Date : 9th November
Time : 12:00 PM till 6 PM or even later for some of us.
Place : Shaw Centre

Okay, Aisyah demanded that it had to be on the 9th November and its on my birthday which totally blows. It makes it seem as if I'm self centered anyways, she demands it sooooo ya. So anyways, as a present from all of you, Just come. Thats enough. Okay? kkthx.

12 PM to 6PM because Aisyah's parents don't let her stay out too long but some of us who can could stay longer.

Shaw Centre so we can go shopping in town later! Wheeeeeee.

Anyways, we'll have lunch together and prolly go catch a movie later. Please tell or contact me if you can't make it so we can change the stuff to accommodate for you. Look forward to seeing you guys!

PSP and Hellgate Pwnage

Heyya, I know I was supposed to blog once I came back but as much as I'd love to say " I took 3 days to get back from Sim Lim." I can't for that would be a lie. So anyways, I did go to Sim Lim and I bought a PSP Slim & Lite. Haha I got the piano black one. The enamel coating owns the first PSP anyday. The extra 32 MB of UMD memory helps loading alot.

Anyways, I bought mine for $275 sadly, It only came with the charger and the PSP console. After that I followed my bro to Wheelock Place to repair his spoilt iPod screen unfortunately, they can't fix that. Now how retarded is it that you can't fix your own product. lol

Thursday

Marking day so, we headed over to JT's place for a swim. JT was so hyped about my PSP being able to connect to the net and his PSP ( older version ) being unable to. Haha, he visited some sites that he was underaged for in public. Lol. I hope I'm not being too obvious haha. So we swam and more like ended up talking and wrestling. Seriously can't fight in the water. Punches are so slow that they don't even hurt. Left at 12 PM to go out and buy my PSP USB cable, casing, headphone and some games.

I bought FF 7 Crisis Core but it was in Japanese. Fuck, the game is great but really can't understand what to do. So yea went to return it. Sigh hope the english ver comes out soon. Traded Crisis Core for Monster Hunter Freedom and some gundam game that Reubs ( My bro ) already completed. Belle and Alex bought me DnD Tactics. Gonna try it out soon. Wheee.

Oh yea and when I found out that I couldn't play Crisis Core at all, I also found out that I was selected to BETA TEST Hellgate London. So far the game is PWNAGE. But the AI sucks. And it has some glitches to fix. No fun if the AI sucks balls.

My 6800 GT doesn't have any problems with the graphics at the highest settings and according to my brother, his 5500 doesn't either. Both of us are using Nvidia GCs.

Friday - Can't remember what I did! Felt sad that I didn't go to school haha. Was Jun Ting's last week in school and I wasn't even there a single day cept on Monday. So I hellgated with Bryan (Senior ) Hellgate rocks when you have a friend to play with.

Saturday - Here I am now typing this lol. Played monster hunter till 6 in the Morn. Fucking dinosaurs. Urgh.

Till next time. Toodles.

The After Exams

Been really busy recently with all the exams and stuff. Since you'd probably not want to hear about the exams. Eck gotta head to Sim Lim BRB In a bit. Will post once I'm back!

Yet another mass update

Like with the previous ones, I'll be doing this in point form again. Starting with last friday. Wheee.

Friday

I planned my day for a study group which consisted of Vincent, JT and myself. Milken came along. We studied at my place first. But due to two pricks and some tuition teacher needing a room, we had left when JT came back from dinner and asked us to go over to his place. Heh, not exactly one of our smartest ideas.

So we headed to the supermart and I got some smoked jerky, 2 lolly pops, wherters or something and some other things. Oh and sour power. Then we carried on to JT's place. We ended up studying in the Billard Room because the reading room was being used by some people. They left later on and Vincent and I moved into the room because our other 2 members were too caught up playing billard. Screaming their asses off and such.

Saturday.

Vincent came over at around 5 for more studying. We studied history till 10: 30. Cool thing was that, Soni, Donna, Yi Ying and Natalie were there. So it was pretty noisy. But they're really good friends. Well least Soni and Donna are. We ended up playing Hide and Seek after dinner. Had to pull Vincent to join us in the last game. I'm surprised he can actually focus on history that long.

Donna's sister, Jasminy, Jessica and Michelle came later as well. While playing hide and seek, I found Donna and Michelle on the rooftop so we played truth or dare while waiting for the others to come find us. Vincent was totally shy. A side you probably won't see in him.

Monday.

Nothing much besides playing alot of Undead Assault 2 With my bro on The Frozen Throne. Haha I get sooooo frustrated being a medic at times. Stupid noobs leave before I can even bring them back to life. Anyways, they'd be better off as zombie food.

Vincent and JT came over to study. Yi Ying, Soni and Nat were at the library as well. So yea, study study study. Oh while we were freezing, Vincent was going on about how his Indonesian blood keeps in warm. o_O

- No pudding in school = (

Tuesday.

Went to school came back slept. Had a very odd dream. Where someone confessed feelings to me. Meh. Wonder what that means in dream language.

Wednesday - Today

DnT! Wheeeee finished the circuit and plastic thingy first. Proness. Vincent kept blaming me for his broken wires because I never helped him to hold it while he was soldering. Haha, then when my wire broke, he was all like " ahah you see! "

Gotta stay back tomorrow to finish up on the plastics and then I can take it home wheeeee.

Anyways, Vincent and Jun Ting are heading over to place to study again. Anyways just remembered that there are only 7 letters in Jun Ting's name same as Vincent. Wonder why I kept short cutting it. Bad habit.

Anyways, I think I might have pissed Vincent off abit earlier.

Played DotA with JT. It was horrible. I was horrible. Fuck. My DotA is shittttt currently.

Shit Puddings.

Milk Chocolate

Whoa, just blew my mind eating a ball of goooood white milk chocolate. Yummy. Only took one ball. Really can't take it if I get fat. Fat and me don't go along. Bad fats baddddd.

Haha, today was okay. Can't remember what I besides slack in class. English was free period since Miss Chew didn't come. Yay. Darren made up his mind and actually decided where to sit. Mainly because Jeremy persuaded ( bugged ) him to move away. Hehe. Thanks Jeremy.

Ate pudding at school again! Wheee. When I got down for recess there was only 2 left. Like phew. The geography test was cake and guess what, Mr Mohammed canceled the remedial but gave us papers to do. Haha. Just finished mine. Couple of questions that I'm totally blur about though.

Best of all, Claymore 26 and Bleach 142 is out. Sooo whee an hour of anime for me. Damn Riki in Claymore. Dumb kid needs to die. Climax ruiner!

And now, stuff for tomorrow, History test! Erk. Musn't flunk it. Then its off to study with Vincent and JT after school. So at least I have something to do.

Haha thats all for today. Ain't got shit to talk about