ZOMGWTF OLD LADEH!

Rofl, sorry. I was supposed to do this post like yesterday but, I didn't because Vincent has yet to send me the pictures of shit that happened on Saturday Night. :D

Woke up. Went to church. Fucked up thing was that, I CAME JUST IN TIME FOR THE EFFING MID YEAR ASSESSMENT FOR CATH CLASS. Of all days I had to come. Basically, it was like a chinese paper except I knew what bullshit I was writing. Rofl I hope I pass. Anyways, for service attachment, I was posted to the Wardens.

ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME NOW? I'D RATHER TEACH AND SMILE AT PEOPLE AND SERVE THEM.

I was telling Sarah that as a warden, I might kill someone with those pole with bags at the end that they use for collecting our money. ( The church doesn't bloody need the donations. They're filthy rich. Honestly. And they still talk about Poverty. Infact, they're so rich, most of us can only dream of having such sums of money in the future. ) Back to where I was. Yes, I might put that thing over someones head and jab him with it. Muwhahahah! Warden of Death. Yes. Nice ring to it.

Now, to begin the real story. Yes. It is a tale of horror, fright and possibly, sadistic humor!

So, I went to eat Aston's express at Bedok. My mum, being a grocery-shoppaholic, decided to leave me, a small little boy alone at the food court. There I was, alone, at the table looking at my measly Crispy Fried Fish.


Food reviews will be done in Orange! Wheee. Okay, the fish tasted great compared to alot of other fish and chips out there. It's very soft and is easy to cut apart ( Unlike those bloody tough fishes that I try so hard to rip apart only to find out it's batter like wtf. SCAMMED ME BEECH. ) Alot of herbs inside. However, after awhile, this tastes abit overpowering. I think its because of the huge portion. Theres a ton of value for money if you are really hungry though.

I paid $5.90 for a large portion of Fish, Tasty Rice ( They really mean tasty ) and Onion Rings ( Very well done as well.) I dare say, far more worth it then any meal at your local fast food restaurant. Give it a try if you happen to past by. However, stop eating if you can't take anymore. Don't force yourself to eat. Thats just stupid. Rofl.

So... this old lady comes up to me and talks to me in... Mandarin. WTF. My reflex action- which I practice alot with teachers. - I start nodding my head like one of those hula dolls. She sits down. WHAT THE HELLLLLLLL. SINCE WHEN DID I AGREE. Zomg. She starts to speak quicker. I panic and in desperation I message my friends on what to do.

The first reply from Miah -
Tell her, Ni Hen Mei, Wo Yao Gen Ni Zuo Ai. Try that. Haha.

I see you find old women pretty and don't mind screwing them... A fetish we didn't know about?

Then, he says lololol, maybe shes Michael Jackson. Later she moonwalk.

Now from Shenzer -

Say " Bu Yao Qi Fu Wo"

WTF DOES THAT MEANNN? - Bert

I have no idea Picked it up from a TV Programme.

WTF. - Bert

Is she Crazy?

Dunno - Bert

Why is she sitting beside you? Try poking her or throw something at her.

Because theres no space! Wtf? - Bert

Give her the stare.

Its rude omg. - Bert

No no, not that stare. The one where you suspiciously stare where you look at her closely and circle around her.

Lololol SMLJ? Since when was there such a stare?

I'm scared. - Bert

Just be calm. Prepare a fork when she strikes. You'll never know when and how she will strike.

Do you know how she'll strike? - Bert

No I don't but I think she'll bite me while I'm eating.

Oh yea, I know I'm juicy.

From my Senior, Rabid Squirrel

Pretend you don't know how to speak chinese and walk away if you haven't ordered or have food on the table and who are you with?

I'm alone and I've ordered. - Bert

Haha, wtf are you doing there then?

Eating... - Bert

Haha, you're sad.

HAHA YOU'RE OH SO HELPFUL!

Last but not least, the god of Nickism.

I beat this UK Guy 1v1 Hes level 18. Lol.

Nice, I'm being owned by an old lady at language skills. - Bert

Lol, cute.

What do I do?!? - Bert

Rape her.

NO COMMENT HERE. And people say I'm twisted.






These were the remains of the old lady's food. Such a beast she was. - Catkromancerz

I ate and departed quickly and went to NTUC. ZOMG NTUC SUCKS NOW K. ONE REASON. THEY LIE.


Such deceitful bastards. To think I love them. Addiction is a pity. - Catkromancer on Coke Zero

COKE ZERO DOES NOT TASTE ANYTHING LIKE COKE. NOT AT ALL. Infact, its just coke light with a new label. Really thats all it is.

DID YOU KNOW ARTIFICIAL SUGAR PROMOTES CANCER? THUS COKE ORIGINAL IS HEALTHIER THEN COKE ZERO / LIGHT.

Then, I saw the most disgusting, most filthy, terrible sight. One that had disheartened me.


" You bastards " - Catkromancerz on the new Coke Shelf.

WHERE DID ALL THE ORIGINAL COKE GO? YOU BASTARDS! Sick sick people.

Well thats about it for Sunday. I'll blog about saturday probably tomorrow when I get t3h picturz from Vincent, Gay Man Extraordinaire.

Toodles!