Oh well, so you don't get to see my use the FACE OF SUPREME AWESOMENESS while chatting. Soooo, heres a whole line for you people who might still be reading my blog which I promised to update 5 months ago and did not.
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
FEELING AWESOME NOW? HELL YEA!
Some of you might be thinking, WOW, DAMN RIGHT. Well good for you. And some might be going J00 R FULL OF SHIT. Well, what can I say besides :D
So anyways, here I am back to blogging. After a very very long disappearance. I SWEAR THE GNOMES CAPTURED ME AND TRIED TO MAKE ME THEIR KING. ITS THAT PINK LIL GNOME'S FRIENDS. Well, you probably want to know more.
So grab a cup of Coke. Yes it has to be Coke. Nu huh. Don't even try to object. Coke is godly. The Brownish Sparkle that is Coke. The everlasting sweetness much like CANDY.
Coke is Teh "Sex" ( In drink form )
Its obvious that Coke is Teh "Sex" because Polar Bears are endangered because their all drinking Coke. Who needs to copulate when they have like 500 ML of "Sex" Also, I'm kidding copulation is a necessary thing. Its also probably quite enjoyable. Like I would know.
[ THIS IS EVIDENCE THAT POLAR BEARS DRINK COKE! ]
Okay, enough about Coke. I suppose you have a cup full with you now. Let the story begin!
Viewer Discretion Advised. This was written with the writer in fatigue and also slight irritation because his friends FKING LEFT HIM FOR SLEEP. WTFUCK? SLEEP OVER TWO YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP? BITCHESSSSS. Well, except Melvix who is leet but obviously inferior to my supreme leetness. I'm so leet he felt the urge to be gay with me. The effects of exposure to a greater leetness.
- CHANGE IN SEXUALITY.
- DENIAL
- WTFUCK? And other things!
It was a special day. A once in a year day. November the Ninth, also, Albert's Birthday aka 9/11/SOMEYEAROKAY. He was turning fourteen! Not much of a milestone but at least, a reason to celebrate. As the events of the day unfolded and came to a close, Bert [ Whos really damn Leet ] returned back to the comforts of his home where he blogged [ ITS THE PREVIOUS POST MIND YOU ] about the events of the day. He typed down the things that came into his mind, filled with utter nonsense, perversity and probably bits of insanity and in time, he was done writing about his birthday. [ PHEW REALLY, THAT TOOK FOREVER. I HAD A WRITERS BLOCK. ] He went to view his blog post.
As the page loaded, Bert stared in awe at the spectacle occurring infront of his very eyes! The plated pink midget was crawling out of his Uber Sexy LCD screen. The midget's armored body was most odd! Albert was offended by the creatures imperfection yet its pink hair and beard left his speechless. Truely this creature was without a doubt, MANLY. [CHUCK NORRIS IS OBVIOUSLY MUCH MANLIER AND UBER] Albert was in utter awe. If only he could have his hairs dyed a beautiful pink just like the gnome.
The gnome jumped out of the screen. His little HAPPY FEET landing on Albert's keyboard with some impact, his keyboard just broke. The humanoid spoke. Bert was also pissed because his keyboard broke.
"Come, come with me to a place where you get to study faster! So fast, you'll skip a whole year of studying!" spoke the creature. It had a deep little boy voice. How deceitfully manly yet somewhat childish. Albert was seduced by the creature and its offer. In his moment of weakness, he accepted. He went to express. Little did he know of the pain and regret to come in it's wake.
Express had other humans much like himself. They were however, much much more book wormish [ THAT HAD BETTER BE A WORD] And also, I kid. They're just alot more studious) as compared to Albert and his Friends whom he had left behind. Week after week, he was tormented. The workload was immense. At first they came slowly, and were dealt with swiftly but eventually, they overwhelmed Albert. His discipline broke. He gave in. Now in a grave filled with paper which continually grows along with its tasks. Worst of all, he missed his dearest companions whom he used to see on a daily basis besides that, the pain of seeing them escape the place of his torment earlier then him brought him to his knees. Occasionally, he'd get to chat with one of his dearest companions one such being Ai Yang, the last of the Story Weavers from the previous year. The chats would get fairly intense and interesting. Albert left many times with a smile upon his face, wrecked with misery.
[ Seriously, EXPRESS IS LIKE THE FAST WAY TO MISERY. You know, its funny how doctors and my parents tell me its the normal. WTFuck. It isn't the normal. Express is already one of the fastest ways to the O Levels in the world. The workload is tremendous, you won't have much free time and would probably spend the free time, revising. Utter bullocksssss. What teenage memories will you have besides hugging books and perhaps mugging with classmates. Truth be told, Express is the "Normal" ONLY BECAUSE, Singapore made Express and that some kids are going there. Because of that, some parents get envious la la etc. gossip spreads. People stress their kids into express and now you have it as the "Normal"
Think about how this affects the egos of those within the Normal Academic Stream ( WHICH IS THE NORMAL BECAUSE IT PROGRESSES AT THE SAME RATE AS THE WORLD) being branded as inferior because they couldn't get into Express. They'd be demoralised. I myself, have been subject to this. Honestly, I couldn't give a shit because at least, I'd have joyful, and fond memories of how I spent my teenage years.
I will not live in Regret. Unfortunately, I am now.]
He sought to meet them again, he made contact and thus, Saturdays, the sixth day on Earth, were days where they'd escape from the evils and meet up, chill and do STUFF.
Today, was one such day. Albert spent his early afternoon searching for new headphones for his PSP. A extremely handy device for entertainment and communication as well as information gathering. ( MY PSP LCD BROKE AND IT COST $122 TO FIX IT. LIKE CRY MORE PLEASE? THATS BLOODY FLUFFING EXPENSIVE. ) He spent the rest of the day hugging the PC beside his friends, fighting to save the World Tree or the Frozen Throne aka Playing DotA in which he went to strangle his closest friend, Jun Ting for "Backdooring" which is more or less cheating and thus, his knight fell to the might of my strangle and cunningness. Muwahhahah.
Bert also bought $37 dollar earphones and he feels scammed. Though, he feels that they are incredibly sexy. So nevermind.
Bert and his compadres grew hungry as time passed by. They boarded a bus and set off for food that would satisfy their hunger. They came upon a fast food restaurant. KFC. Bert being broke after spending three quarters of his cash on earphones, whined and asked to eat cheaper food. His pleas fell upon deaf ears. Then, a fair maiden came upon him like a savior. [ SHE HAD KFC COUPONS. She was truely, LEET. SHE EVEN SAID I COULD KEEP THEM LATER WEETS. ] There was one requirement to the coupons however, ONE WAS TO HAVE A BUDDY TO SHARE THE MEAL WITH! Being quick witted, Michael grabbed Albert as his partner. Vincent with Nicholas. Milken pranced off and went solo leaving Jun Ting, BUDDYLESS. <- OWNED!
They ate like vikings. Most importantly, they ate their fill. They talked and laughed so hard, Michael ended up regurgitating his fries. Bert threw a fly at Jun.T for some reason. Which he calls " Fry Slap " Being a cunning dog, Jun.T put flame to the arrow sent at him. He dipped the fry in cheese and tossed it back at Albert landing in his hair. Much laughter was had. [ Truth be told, I still wanted to order large popcorn chicken with a regular coke after that but like fuck, I don't want to be a glutton much like Victor, Bane of DotA Team mates all around. AND ALSO, WTFUCK SIF THROW CHEESE FRY INTO MY HAIR. MY GLORIOUS CONDITIONED HAIR. ] Bert swore to plan his revenge.
After that they left and went to go watch Liverpool VS Arsenal. Honestly, whats so exciting about soccer matches. The only parts where I was hyped up was like at the last few minutes where the ball was right at the goal's door. MILKEN HAS A BLOODY LEET VIEW OF THE SEA. WTH. IMBA. If I do ever go to his place at night, I'll be sure to take a picture.
And that was it. As for the pink gnome, well... Heres what happened. Even though he was incredibly manly, my supreme leetness overpowered him. His armors betrayed him and melted off him. And now, hes the poster boy for my blog header. Cool huh?
Well, its late, and I'm sleepy sooooo toodles world. And I need to fix that fucked up chatbox. STUPID THING.
Peace Out
T3H CATCROMANCERZ, Leet King, Albert aka Alberto
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