Friday Night

Like any normal kid, I went to school on friday. I came, I saw, I survived it. Okay anyways, after that I went over to Jun.T's place with the objective of fixing in virus wrecked PC. Lolol. I found 30 different viruses and 1131 infected files. The funniest thing? It was his sisters laptop. Even I don't have that many viruses. Anyways here are two free anti viruses which I think are pretty damn effective.

www.malwareguard.com

and

www.safer-networking.org/en/index.html

BTW HIS DOG IS CRAZY. My cat claws made her run absolute fear though. Begone bitch!

Also, I managed to catch a movie with my ex tutor. Jia Zhen. A very nice and hardworking girl. [ Shes not spoilt like me. Life styles are incredibly different.] I say, her boyfriend is quite smart to get her. Congrats to him. And me bugging her ages ago to get a boy friend. Muwahahha the Catkromancerz triumphs.

We watched Definitely, Maybe. Some show about this guy who has a daughter that bugs him about who her mum is. After some persistent bugging, he gives in and tells her the story. That begins the show. The girls are all very much different. So yea its pretty interesting. Give it a watch.

So, anyways, I'm back. Now where was I? Her boyfriend, Philip (I HOPE I SPELT THAT RIGHT ) sent me back home in his car which smells very much like sandalwood. Dove Calming Night uses Sandalwood. It is the sex. Utterly.


[Good stuff honestly, I'd substitute it for catnip. ]

Personally, I'm glad because I'm actually doing something with my life. Also, we ate at Phin's pretty expensive place sigh.

The Day After, Saturday.

Went out for dinner with me buddies. Michael, Vincent, Milken and I. A foursome. How delightful. Well anyways heres how we selected the place. Actually how Vincent, selected the place.

Milken: Eh, where you wanna eat?
Vincent: Dunno.
Milken: Albert coming leh.
Vincent: Oh! Albert. Aiyoh he like to eat high class food. We go eat Cafe Cartel okay?

WHAT NONSENSE! EAT HIGHCLASS FOOD?!? ME?! Pshhhh. Whos been asking us to eat Mee Pok ( Some cheap noodle thing ) at hawker centers. Then, who made us eat at KFC zomgggg so expensive. Sigh. A twenty dollar meal isn't cheap.

Anyways, I ordered a Fish and Chip meal for $16.70 [Inclusive of drink and soup] It was decent at best. I've tasted better Fish and Chip at this foodcourt stall in Bedok. Its the little foodcourt behind the library. $3.80 during happy hours. Good stuff really. Very fresh fish.

We talked alot of crap. Lolol. Things you wouldn't want to know about. Anyways! Here a picture of my friend Michael and I.


As Vincent, Gay Man Extraordinaire has said "Albert look like dying man sia!" Personally, I think I look drugged. TRUTH IS, MICHAEL WAS STEALING ALL MY HAPPY! LOOK AT HIS HAPPY SMILE! THAT BASTARD! Lol Kidding. I just look weird often. WANT TO BUY MORE GLAMOUROUS SHOTS.

So total in all, we spent 80 dollars, on 4 dishes and a tic-tac-toe ( Fries, Wedges and some thing for $5.60) After which, we left for MacDonalds for their desert which is also, ridiculously cheap. Lololol.

We went to 7-11 after that. While queuing up, I felt something sharp crawling up my neck. I clawed at it again. IT WAS A FKING UGLY BROWN CATERPILLAR WTFUCK?! And on a more serious note, thank goodness it wasn't one of those hairy ones or i'd be itching all over. The caterpillar received very little mercy from my shoe's sole. [ BAD SHOE SOLE SQUISH INSECT! BASTARDDDDDD! ] :D for me anyways.

Thats all for today folks. Toodlessss.

OH HEM GEE! A VIDEO OF A MUSIC CATDIGY!

So me, being a very busy person, checked out youtube for no particular reason and, I found these two videos! One on a cat thats extremely leet. So leet she plays the piano. Probably better then I myself. The other being one about a hamster. They're both fairly short so take a short moment to watch them. Oh, I also just found another one. Its a fairly entertaining catfight.

  Nora definately outwits Betsy's student in terms of skill! Nora clearly stole the show. Who would have known there was a cat so leet. In the words of the Catkromancer.

"Shes puuuuurrrr-fect. I'm going to fire my personal musician and hire her. Truely she is fit to serve me." - Catkromancerz

Wow, fat, furry and cute. Not to mention quite greedy.

"I R ONLY FEEDING HIM SO I CAN EATS HIM LATER! MROWR!" - Catkromancerz on the Hamster.

Mrowr! Catfight.

"These two cats were merely fighting for their king's entertainment. Such loyal subjects. DEATH TO COGNAC FOR LOSING. WHAT A FAILURE." - Catkromancerz on the Fight.

Catkromancerz = Phantom Assassin?!?!

So, I found out something interesting today... My friends were trying to match DotA characters to people they knew in real life. Funny enough, I was matched to the Phantom Assassin.

Sexy, cunning and deadly. I say, like a cat! - Catkromancerz on the Phantom Assassin
[ Okay, I'll admit, I'm as sexy and seductive as that. Don't deny it. ]

The Phantom Assassin or Warden, has these abilities!

Hide
Lie in wait for enemies without attacking. (Will respond to attacks). Units will hold position and hold their fire, so when they are Shadowmelding, they will not break their own invisibility. It's very handy for running away from a battle. The Hide ability is disabled during the day.

I am Catlike so yea, I do hide pretty well. Muwahahhahaha.

Fan of Knives
The Warden flings a flurry of knives at multiple enemy targets around her.

Hmmm, this would probably be me bitching to the people around me. My words are like knives sometimes. So yea they cut you emotionally! Muwahhahahahahhaha. [ On a more serious note, I've cut down on bitching quite alot! I'm suchhh a nice person. ]

Blink or Blink Strike
Short distance teleportation that allows the Warden to move in and out of combat. Where as with Blink Strike, I teleport to the enemy and hit him for additional damage.

So, this would basically be me jumping or moving faster then expected to a point and hitting someone. Which I do pretty often. Okay so I'm a violent person. But I don't hit many people just a few friends. Kekekeke.

Shadow Strike or Stifling Dagger
Hurls a poisoned dagger which deals large initial damage, and then deals damage over time. The poisoned unit has its movement rate slowed for a short duration.

Okay, this would be a really hurtful thing I have said to someone. When people are cut emotionally they think about it, contemplate, and cry more aka QQ. Since their disfocused they're slowed down! [ I DON'T BITCH THAT MUCH!!! ]

Vengeance (Ultimate)
Creates a powerful avatar that summons invulnerable spirits from friendly corpses to attack your enemies. When the Avatar of Vengeance dies, the spirits vanish.

Well, this would probably be the grudges that a Scorpio like me can hold which ranges from a short while to forever. We backstab you and people follow. Victor knows fairly well.

Blur
The Phantom Assassin blends into her surroundings thus making her harder to see and harder to hit.

This would be when I'm acting " emo" or going all on about my leave me alone vibes. Which gives me a low profile thus harder to notice. Harder to hit because you probably wouldn't want to hit someone who wants to be alone.

Coup de grâce

The Phantom Assassin has refined her hero-killing skills to a high degree.

Basically, I just hit really really hard at times. This would be my favourite out of all the skills. Works well against the occasional asshole, Razor aka Jun.T.[ I don't hit him that often now!]
One of my most memorable times of using this skill was when I was chasing Ai Yang and lets just say struck his back so loudly that a thunderclap erupted!

So, anyways, they linked this character to me because
1. I squeal like a girl sometimes.
2. I speak good english like her.
3. I'm very flexible / agile.
4. I "don't" have leg hair.
5. That if I were to wear a green cape, bicycle helmet and hold a frying pan, I'd look like her. WOW! Oh and I'd probably need to put some sillicon down there and spray paint myself purple. Oh oh, and grow really long hair and ears!
6. I'm uber sexy just like her.

Okay, I admit I do squeal like a girl sometimes.
I speak good english.
I am very flexible and probably quite agile.
I do have leg hair cept its not long, curly and everywhere.
I have no comment on point number five.
Last but not least, I do agree that I am uber sexy. Like her.

That person looks too hawt to be you.
From Reila.

My response
Hur hur, sounds like a jealous girl! And by the way a BMI of 17 is underweight. Mind you, I have that BMI as well. Your not alone. :D
PS. JEALOUSY IS A BAD THING GIRL - Catkromancerz

Mind you, I'm trying very hard to get my BMI to 20+. Like the Catkromancerz says.

" Its one less flaw and one step closer to perfect. " - Catkromancerz

Anyways, thanks to Jeremy, Right Paw, Second Claw of the Catkromancerz for all the info!
:D for you!

Lololol.

RAWR THE KITTY IS HUNGREH

Apparently, alot of people don't know what leet means. Its gamer slang for awesome, great, fabulous, glamourous and other great awesome, fabulous, glamourous words! That is why the word leet is leet truely. The Leet King forgives you for not knowing what leet means! Go now and spread the word! Anyways heres a poem from the Catkromancerz for you people.

A poem, by the Catkromancerz - WHILE STARVING AWAY.

i R KITTEH KAT,

i R HUNGREH,

i R COOK NOODLES,

i R COOK NOODLES WITH MANY MANY,

BEEF BALLS!

Anyways I was talking with my friends in church earlier. If you named your son Jia Qiu aka Add balls. His friends wouldn't be able to call him a ball-less faggot. Its like leet.

Anyways heres another odd fact, Both Hitler and Alexander the Great [ He may be great for conquering most of the world but hes great to me for being a bisexual. WIN. ] both had one testicle. Like omgwtfbbqchocolatecakeswithcatnip!

DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE CATKROMANCERZ IS COOKING? Over and Out, Bert.

Italics are Addictive.

Well helloooo. Today has been a fairly decent day. I updated my friendster with new photos. Mostly from events in 2007 and Chinese New Year from this year. Also, managed to go buy groceries with my mum as well as return the library comics I borrowed.

Conversation with Mum at the Library.

Mum: I think, I'll borrow these two magazines. [ Real Simple ]

Me: Um, alright.

We proceed to the funny borrowing machine station thingy where I stare at my mum waiting for her to take out her identification card.

Mum: Ehhh, use your card leh. I think mine has fines.

I need not say more. Rofl. So anyways I went to NTUC, and couldn't find my Myojo Char Mee.

HOW CAN YOU DITCH ME? I R EAT MANY OF YOU IF I FINDS YOU. RAWR! - Catkromancerz. ( On a more serious note, I'm allergic to most seafoods. Sigh.)

After purchasing my new headphones, I've been using them instead of my speakers. I seem to hear things I shouldn't be hearing. Like... like... Dialogue in Michael Jackson Songs! Now you might be wondering why is Albert listening to Michael Jackson. 

My reply:

HES LEET STFU I LIKE HIS MUSIC K. GO AWAY YOU MICHAEL JACKSON HATERZ!

I spent some time DotAing with Jeremy (aka Miah, Remy, Jeremies), Melvix aka Melvito, Nicholas, soon to be creator of Nickism, Shaggism, and Nicholasism. Don't ask really. The games were decent at best. We basically went around smashing things and dying after that. So besides us four, there was TSAO. Games get pretty damn intense and exciting with him around. Heh. No joke there. [ Why hasn't Tsao even added me on MSN! ]

Tsao is Win. - Albert, The Catkromancerz

And questions from reader!

You condition your hair?! And, your posting is screwed! - Reila

My reply:

Well duh! Hair as soft as mine doesn't magically come to me. Then again, spending three minutes conditioning hair isn't very hard. SO MAYBE ITS MAGIC. I DUNNO. By the way, my posting isn't screwed! Its just misunderstood and then was screwed by your mind. 

No :D for you! I gives you the foul, evil, malicious, deceitful, sinister, corrupt, putrid.

THE EVIL TWIN OF :D

Presenting...

D: <--- ZOMG GASH. THE EVIL TWIN!

Anyways, I've been thinking about what Vincent commented about the pic I posted on friendster. Okay like why the fuck does blogspot put the uploaded photo at the top thats just retarded seriously... [ I know I suck at blogging. So will someone tell me how to fix this? Copying and repasting isn't exactly fun to do.]

http://www.friendster.com/photos/28360978/1/547515689 Link to the picture.

Anyways, he said,

"I know this guy...!" - Vincent Santoso, Gay Man Extraordinaire.

The question comes to mind. Vincent knows this guy. 

DOES THAT MEAN THAT THEY CLONED HIM?

THEN, HOW MANY DID THEY CLONE?

WHY VINCENT?

And,

HOW MANY VINCENTS CAN THE WORLD HANDLE!?!?! 

Anyways, I'm off for now. Toodles to you people. RAWR. And I kept my promise I think.

Posting and Me.

Lawl! Okay. Feel free to skip the bottom half the the previous post. Its bloody bloody long! Though maybe possibly, interesting. Just take it as a long post for the previous 5 months of not blogging at all okay? Kek! Anyways I just learnt that I could change the colours of the text. Thats like uber.

Anyways, I'll try to keep future posts short, sweet and humourous. No promises there however.

 

Bert, :D 

I'VE BEEN REALLLLLLLY BUSY.

  I've been very tied up with things! Things like, playing Warcraft, chatting and the beautiful art of Procrastination.  Really. I mean like, WHO GETS TIED UP WITH THESE THINGS. Simply said, Me. :D ( Thy face is made from 100% WIN ) Pity you don't see me using that much. Tsk tsk. Even worse, you can't use that face on MSN. LIKE WTFACK. ITS A BLOODY EMOTICON? LIKE GHEY.

Oh well, so you don't get to see my use the FACE OF SUPREME AWESOMENESS while chatting. Soooo, heres a whole line for you people who might still be reading my blog which I promised to update 5 months ago and did not.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

FEELING AWESOME NOW? HELL YEA!

Some of you might be thinking, WOW, DAMN RIGHT. Well good for you. And some might be going J00 R FULL OF SHIT. Well, what can I say besides :D

So anyways, here I am back to blogging. After a very very long disappearance. I SWEAR THE GNOMES CAPTURED ME AND TRIED TO MAKE ME THEIR KING. ITS THAT PINK LIL GNOME'S FRIENDS. Well, you probably want to know more.

So grab a cup of Coke. Yes it has to be Coke. Nu huh. Don't even try to object. Coke is godly. The Brownish Sparkle that is Coke. The everlasting sweetness much like CANDY.

Coke is Teh "Sex" ( In drink form )

Its obvious that Coke is Teh "Sex" because Polar Bears are endangered because their all drinking Coke. Who needs to copulate when they have like 500 ML of "Sex" Also, I'm kidding copulation is a necessary thing. Its also probably quite enjoyable. Like I would know.

     [ THIS IS EVIDENCE THAT POLAR BEARS DRINK COKE! ]

Okay, enough about Coke. I suppose you have a cup full with you now. Let the story begin!

Viewer Discretion Advised. This was written with the writer in fatigue and also slight irritation because his friends FKING LEFT HIM FOR SLEEP. WTFUCK? SLEEP OVER TWO YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP?  BITCHESSSSS. Well, except Melvix who is leet but obviously inferior to my supreme leetness. I'm so leet he felt the urge to be gay with me. The effects of exposure to a greater leetness.

- CHANGE IN SEXUALITY.

- DENIAL

- WTFUCK? And other things!

  It was a special day. A once in a year day. November the Ninth, also, Albert's Birthday aka 9/11/SOMEYEAROKAY. He was turning fourteen! Not much of a milestone but at least, a reason to celebrate. As the events of the day unfolded and came to a close, Bert [ Whos really damn Leet ] returned back to the comforts of his home where he blogged [ ITS THE PREVIOUS POST MIND YOU ] about the events of the day. He typed down the things that came into his mind, filled with utter nonsense, perversity and probably bits of insanity and in time, he was done writing about his birthday. [ PHEW REALLY, THAT TOOK FOREVER. I HAD A WRITERS BLOCK. ] He went to view his blog post.

  As the page loaded, Bert stared in awe at the spectacle occurring infront of his very eyes! The plated pink midget was crawling out of his Uber Sexy LCD screen. The midget's armored body was most odd! Albert was offended by the creatures imperfection yet its pink hair and beard left his speechless. Truely this creature was without a doubt, MANLY. [CHUCK NORRIS IS OBVIOUSLY MUCH MANLIER AND UBER] Albert was in utter awe. If only he could have his hairs dyed a beautiful pink just like the gnome. 

The gnome jumped out of the screen. His little HAPPY FEET landing on Albert's keyboard with some impact, his keyboard just broke. The humanoid spoke. Bert was also pissed because his keyboard broke. 

"Come, come with me to a place where you get to study faster! So fast, you'll skip a whole year of studying!" spoke the creature. It had a deep little boy voice. How deceitfully manly yet somewhat childish. Albert was seduced by the creature and its offer. In his moment of weakness, he accepted. He went to express. Little did he know of the pain and regret to come in it's wake.

Express had other humans much like himself. They were however, much much more book wormish [ THAT HAD BETTER BE A WORD] And also, I kid. They're just alot more studious) as compared to Albert and his Friends whom he had left behind. Week after week, he was tormented. The workload was immense. At first they came slowly, and were dealt with swiftly but eventually, they overwhelmed Albert. His discipline broke. He gave in. Now in a grave filled with paper which continually grows along with its tasks. Worst of all, he missed his dearest companions whom he used to see on a daily basis besides that, the pain of seeing them escape the place of his torment earlier then him brought him to his knees. Occasionally, he'd get to chat with one of his dearest companions one such being Ai Yang, the last of the Story Weavers from the previous year. The chats would get fairly intense and interesting. Albert left many times with a smile upon his face, wrecked with misery.

[ Seriously, EXPRESS IS LIKE THE FAST WAY TO MISERY. You know, its funny how doctors and my parents tell me its the normal. WTFuck. It isn't the normal. Express is already one of the fastest ways to the O Levels in the world. The workload is tremendous, you won't have much free time and would probably spend the free time, revising. Utter bullocksssss. What teenage memories will you have besides hugging books and perhaps mugging with classmates. Truth be told, Express is the "Normal" ONLY BECAUSE, Singapore made Express and that some kids are going there. Because of that, some parents get envious la la etc. gossip spreads. People stress their kids into express and now you have it as the "Normal"

Think about how this affects the egos of those within the Normal Academic Stream ( WHICH IS THE NORMAL BECAUSE IT PROGRESSES AT THE SAME RATE AS THE WORLD) being branded as inferior because they couldn't get into Express. They'd be demoralised. I myself, have been subject to this. Honestly, I couldn't give a shit because at least, I'd have joyful, and fond memories of how I spent my teenage years. 

I will not live in Regret. Unfortunately, I am now.]

He sought to meet them again, he made contact and thus, Saturdays, the sixth day on Earth, were days where they'd escape from the evils and meet up, chill and do STUFF. 

Today, was one such day. Albert spent his early afternoon searching for new headphones for his PSP. A extremely handy device for entertainment and communication as well as information gathering. ( MY PSP LCD BROKE AND IT COST $122 TO FIX IT. LIKE CRY MORE PLEASE? THATS BLOODY FLUFFING EXPENSIVE. ) He spent the rest of the day hugging the PC beside his friends, fighting to save the World Tree or the Frozen Throne aka Playing DotA in which he went to strangle his closest friend, Jun Ting for "Backdooring" which is more or less cheating and thus, his knight fell to the might of my strangle and cunningness. Muwahhahah.

Bert also bought $37 dollar earphones and he feels scammed. Though, he feels that they are incredibly sexy. So nevermind.

Bert and his compadres grew hungry as time passed by. They boarded a bus and set off for food that would satisfy their hunger. They came upon a fast food restaurant. KFC. Bert being broke after spending three quarters of his cash on earphones, whined and asked to eat cheaper food. His pleas fell upon deaf ears. Then, a fair maiden came upon him like a savior. [ SHE HAD KFC COUPONS. She was truely, LEET. SHE EVEN SAID I COULD KEEP THEM LATER WEETS. ] There was one requirement to the coupons however, ONE WAS TO HAVE A BUDDY TO SHARE THE MEAL WITH! Being quick witted, Michael grabbed Albert as his partner. Vincent with Nicholas. Milken pranced off and went solo leaving Jun Ting, BUDDYLESS. <- OWNED!

They ate like vikings. Most importantly, they ate their fill. They talked and laughed so hard, Michael ended up regurgitating his fries. Bert threw a fly at Jun.T for some reason. Which he calls " Fry Slap " Being a cunning dog, Jun.T put flame to the arrow sent at him. He dipped the fry in cheese and tossed it back at Albert landing in his hair. Much laughter was had.  [ Truth be told, I still wanted to order large popcorn chicken with a regular coke after that but like fuck, I don't want to be a glutton much like Victor, Bane of DotA Team mates all around. AND ALSO, WTFUCK SIF THROW CHEESE FRY INTO MY HAIR. MY GLORIOUS CONDITIONED HAIR. ] Bert swore to plan his revenge.

After that they left and went to go watch Liverpool VS Arsenal. Honestly, whats so exciting about soccer matches. The only parts where I was hyped up was like at the last few minutes where the ball was right at the goal's door. MILKEN HAS A BLOODY LEET VIEW OF THE SEA. WTH. IMBA. If I do ever go to his place at night, I'll be sure to take a picture.

And that was it. As for the pink gnome, well... Heres what happened. Even though he was incredibly manly, my supreme leetness overpowered him. His armors betrayed him and melted off him. And now, hes the poster boy for my blog header. Cool huh?

Well, its late, and I'm sleepy sooooo toodles world. And I need to fix that fucked up chatbox. STUPID THING.

Peace Out

T3H CATCROMANCERZ, Leet King, Albert aka Alberto